i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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