I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
