I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
