Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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