There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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