No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
