So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize