Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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