If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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