You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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