Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
