After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
