the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
