drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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