Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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