The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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