My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
