3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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