Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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