Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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