I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize