So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
