if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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