1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The beer is more important than you right now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
