Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
