No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
