just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
North Korea, Best Korea!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
