I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
