See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
