Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
