I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
