so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize