dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
