that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
