Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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