weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
