im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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