idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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