youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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