the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
