just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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