I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize