i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
