ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
