Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
