oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
not ubering you a puppy
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
