I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
