my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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