I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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