She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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