And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
