I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
