No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
