Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
