ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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